I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
