nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My dad just said "fuck circus"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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