OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
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