I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
wow bdsm is so cute
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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