ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
