I love black thongs
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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