You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
