I'm lost and stupid without you.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Randomize
