true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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