What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
