She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
