She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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