We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
