I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Randomize
