On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
