I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
