I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Dicks are not precious.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
