Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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