In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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