After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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