oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
