the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
