i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
