What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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