i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
