I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
he was CRYING into my vagina
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
