I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
