Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
