It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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