There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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