I will die if light touches me.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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