What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
