shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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