the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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