Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
