I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
