umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
