I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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