The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize