I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
