Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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