He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
