oh god the rape fog is back!
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
