Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
