Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
