so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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