Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
