why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Randomize
