Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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