she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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