i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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