idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Two words: nipple clamps
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