Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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