Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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