Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
