the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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