If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
