His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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