Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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