before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
