i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
