Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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