Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
then he tried to convert me to islam
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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