Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
